Letter Received November 8, 2011

Dear Family

I am doing fine and arrived in Richmond, Virginia fine.  Mom, I’m sorry that the phone cut you off after we talked, but I want you to know that I KNOW that you love me.  I will always love you for now and for always until the day I get married then you are 2^nd loved.  [Well, isn’t that comforting?]

Wednesday, November 2

I woke up pretty early and had to take a cold shower.  After, me and E. Beck had gotten ready, we went down and put our luggage in the bus that took us with a group of missionaries to the airport.  We got everything checked in (it only cost $60, which will be reimbursed).  We waited outside the gate (that’s when I called you) and finally got on the plane.  It was a hard three hours, but I studied the scriptures and watched bits of Rise of the Planet of the Apes without sound.  We got to Georgia and I grabbed a muffin for lunch.  We flew another hour but I slept through most of it.

We got to the Richmond airport early.  President Perry met us and we got all our luggage with ease.  We got to look around Richmond and we saw the Jefferson Monument, the Stonewall Jackson Monument, and a bunch of houses that mom would kill for; you can look them up on Google maps by entering Monument Avenue.  We got back to the Perry’s and had a dinner of lasagna and French bread.  After, we all had interviews of health and integrity.  I passed both.  [Sheesh, I hope so!] Then we went to sleep and in the middle of the night I sleep-walked to the center of the room, woke up, and had to crawl back to bed.

Thursday, November 3

Got up and had breakfast of an egg casserole.  We got our pictures taken and headed to the church.  We were all assigned companions.  I was put with Elder Carter and Elder Lloyd (a missionary who’s waiting for his visa to come through so he can go to Brazil).  After, Elder Carter and Brother Grober (a church member here who was a convert 14 years ago) took me to a BBQ place and I had a sandwich and chocolate cake.  We went to the Fisher’s who live in two trailers outside a house they have been building.  They have a little boy who was very dirty and who was picking up chickens and bringing them to us.  They seemed really burned out from building their house.  We helped do some work on it with them.

After this, Brother Grober took us to the church which is like the only church in the whole area.  It is an old, white Quaker church with stained glass windows and it’s very beautiful.  Everyone in the branch originally met in someone’s house for church.  Well, it’s beautiful here in Wakefield.  Bunches of trees.  The dominant bird here is the turkey vulture which flies around and looks like it could pick up a dog.  There are many people with dogs and cats here.  It’s a pretty rural area out here.

Me and Elder Carter walked around and talked to some people and most were very receptive to hearing about and getting a pamphlet from the missionaries, but that’s because a lot of people are open to stuff like that.  We have about 40 people in the branch here.  We went back to the apartment and it has five different rooms for different stuff.  [Wow – that tells me a lot.  J ]  This part of the mission has the best phone and the best car because we have around a 100 mile radius of an area.  This is the funniest thing in the kitchen – a sign that says:

Rules of my Kytchen

1.       PLEASE TO KEEP OUTE, except on express permission of cooke.

2.       Cooke shall designate pot scourers, pan polishers, peelers, scrapers and cooke has SUPREME AUTHORITY AT ALL TIMES.

3.       NO REMARKS AT ALL WILL BE TOLERATED concerning the blackening of toast, weakness of soupe or the strength of garlic stewe.

4.       What goes in stews and soups is NOBODY’S dam business.

5.       Don’t CRITICIZE the coffee – you may be olde and weak yourself someday.

6.       If you Must sticke your finger in something, stick it in the garbage disposal.

7.       Anyone bringing guestes in for DINNER without PRIOR NOTICE will be awarded 3 thwacks on skull with sharp object.

8.       Please waite.  Rome wasn’t burnt in a day and it takes awhile to burne the ROASTE.

9.       If YOU MUST pinche something in the KYTCHEN, PINCHE THE COOKE!

10.   This is my KYTCHEN.  If you don’t believe it, start something.

Basic sum-up of area:  rural, lots of trees with vines growing up them, Elders fun, very old buildings and equipment here, every house has some amount of junk in and around it, turkey vultures everywhere, and a heck of a lot more black people than in Idaho. [He understands the concept of diversity, I promise – we’re from South Carolina!]

Elder Max McClure