Very Short Email, but Funny Stories: June 24, 2013

Hi Folks,

I am super tight on time right now doing a whole lot of emails to other people, but I do have some funny stories to enjoy.

Funny things: We went curbing last Tuesday – this is where you find big items on the curbs that people are throwing out so the dump truck can get them. So we drove around and found an ornament dog named Brutus. It was sweet. The Spanish missionaries got two speakers but they didn’t have the cables so they didn’t work.  We took pictures sitting on bales of hay since Elder Moon was inspired by another missionary to do it. The bales were wet and got our pants wet, too. Before we did weekly planning, we went out to find fresh donuts because they taste so good! We ate cow stomach soup at Joe Romero’s house with the Spanish elders. It was pretty good aside from the fact that the bits of cow stomach were soft but really chewy.

Spiritual things: We taught William and he is so ready to be baptized into the church. He got from members that you don’t have to know everything to be baptized and took that as his answer. He chose Elder Moon to baptize him (instead of a member, which we had hoped for) and I will be giving him the Gift of the Holy Ghost or the "fire prayer."

We taught this guy named Trevor who has been Pentecostal his whole life and wants to learn more from us to help him make the decision to try to find out if the gospel is true.  He’s learned a lot from his friend, who is Mormon and who answered a lot of his questions.   Later in the week we had a leadership conference that rocked my socks off. 

Love you all,

Elder McClure 

Crazy P-Day, Mission President Death, New Jeep, Awkward Lessons: June 17, 2013

Greetings Potato Farmers,

Crazy events with some crazy elders this week. We started it with a very weird P-day. We just hung out and played Ping Pong and pool. We found these marble shoots and it was like reliving my childhood with those things. Half way through the day we stopped playing around to go get Slurpees and it was really humid. On the way this lady almost hit me and actually swerved to hit one of the Spanish Elders behind me. It was the first time we felt threatened. After that we hung out then it rained really hard so the other elders changed into service clothes and I just lost the tie and socks.  Elder Moon wrapped himself in plastic wrap, which was really funny. We had to clean out our car because of an inspection and trade up.  The Franklin elders followed us to the member’s house where we were cleaning our cars. We didn’t have any soap so we hosed off the car and then the Franklin elders used car wipes (for the car’s interior) to clean the outside of the car.  When it dried, it looked really nasty. 

The next day, we went to zone conference – the last zone conference with President Perry. It was really sad but the beginning of it was okay because we got to see all the missionaries that will be in our side of the mission after the mission splits. There was a lot of inspiring things said by President and Sister Perry. President Perry answered a lot of questions and Sister Perry gave us a top 14 things to remember. Pres. Perry cracked a few jokes about the meeting, calling it "his funeral". When it came to saying goodbye to him we sung "God Be with you Till we Meet Again" and I just lost it with tears and when we had our goodbye hugs, again I was just crying really hard. It was weird though - afterward we stayed for awhile and during the wait, we got our new Jeep and some missionaries ooooed and aaahed and others thought it was stupid. We eventually were the last missionaries there so we had our last standing goodbye to President Perry. It was still pretty sad. We then dropped by the Divvers on the way back to Harrisonburg so I got to see Chelsea and Dillion and Trey again – I had really been anticipating seeing them again. I was a long day before getting home and we were super tired.

We had fun during the week trying to find new investigators and helping out less actives. One less active we went to has been antied by his wife and is just having a hard time. His autistic son was really funny because he got this cup of water and carried it over very carefully then tried to throw it on me. Then he pulled his pants down close to our car to go to the bathroom. We got to bless the home of another less active named Evelyn Shull. I dedicated the house and she thought there would be more rituals or stuff involved, but no. They are really nice people. 

The tracting game was funny. We tracted in this old people’s neighborhood and ran into a couple of characters. This one lady about 91 years old talked to us for a while and half way through I gave her a card. So the whole time this lady has this card held up next to her head, but she still asked at the end if we could give her a card. I said, “It’s in your hand,” and she slowly turns her head to see it and goes, "Oh, sorry, I’m 91 years old." Another case was this guy named Trevor and he just graduated high school and was friends with a Mormon. So we talked for awhile and he’s interested. Then his parents come in (they had been gone giving blood) and the dad sees us and laughs but the mom comes in saying, "Hey, d@!*#-bag" to her son then sees us and blushes really bad. We also talked to William and Tommy Mizell about the law of chastity. I had stuttered on the word “homosexuals” and Elder Moon still gets me for it. We also met a couple of drunks but the grand prize goes to the last guy we talked to. He came up to us saying he wants to change and is tired of the life he is living. When we started talking more to him, he revealed that he’s been through a lot and was a prostitute, a dancer, and owner of clubs. He’s gay and his family is part of the mob in Pennsylvania and that he prays to the Virgin Mary above God because she gave birth to God. Oh, he’s also Catholic. We said two prayers with him. 

Yesterday we were slammed with appointments to eat for lunch and dinner. I had to give a missionary moment in sacrament meeting and the topic given to me was sharing my testimony, preaching, and my relationship with Heavenly Father. So the way I did it was talking about my dad (Will) about all the church service we had given at the Temple grounds and cleaning the church. I used that to tie into how Heavenly Father does work and that when we preach it helps us understand how hard he works for us. After my talk, a father and son spoke. The son was leaving in two days for the MTC so that was cool to hear a talk from him about mission prep and his dad talked about his grandfather’s mission. After church, we saw this less active old lady and we had to yell to talk to her. We got to give an inactive member a blessing, which was cool.

Well, love you all and enjoy the week.

Elder McClure

Killing Another One, Long Drive, Funny Members, and Stake Conference: June 10, 2013

People of Earth! People of Earth! I send you a special message from Elder McClure:

I am fine and well. We had a good/struggling week. We had dinner with the Jeppsons; they are a funny family. We played games with Elder Quiambao the night before he left and he beat us in all the games we played. He is just really good at knowing how to play games and beating everyone else while he is at it. He also had to fix his luggage handle that night. It looked makeshift and ghetto when he was done. 

The next day we took the long ride to Richmond to get Elder Quiambao to the mission home. It was super long and we had to wake up early to get it done. So when we were 30 minutes away from home, Elder Moon’s eyes started to close so he bought a Mountain Dew to wake up and he was hitting himself in the face with the bottle to stay awake. It was funny. We got to Richmond and were the first ones there so we talked with Sis. Perry for a little bit and everyone else gradually came. Some really good friends of mine were leaving:  Elder Swanson, Parry, Tramell, Marriott, and Starks (he went home early). After we said goodbye to Elder Quiambao, we went to see if this ghetto shop was open so Elder Moon could get his VA hat. It wasn’t. We also went to see some recent converts, Sister Joseph and her son Jaquan, but the house was empty. Not a trace left except for the giant industrial fan!  We felt sad about that but on the way home, I stopped by the Divvers and Chelsea was home which was so awesome. It took her a minute to recognize me since it has been awhile since I’ve been around, but she was overjoyed. She told me about everything new and that Patrick wouldn’t let them get baptized. So sad!  We left and promised to come back to see them the next time we have a meeting in the area. We went to grab dinner and Elder Moon was really tired again. 

The next couple of days we just tried less actives and driving around. We had dinner with this hilarious family, Sister Webb and her grandparents the Jones. Sister Jones was hilarious because of the things she said like, "I hate serpents!" or "I would weep and wail and ga-nash my teeth!"  We did get to see this lady named Audra in an apartment complex called Lineweaver where most of the less active to inactive baptisms have come from. We read the Book of Mormon with her and she half committed to coming to church. We ran into the Mennonite couple that we scheduled with and narrowly avoided. She called us by our first names and just wants to help us learn more about Christ. Elder Moon doesn’t like it at all and when we were buying light bulbs this other Mennonite I talk to on the bus called me by my first name, too. I’m just going to lie about what my first name is from now on. Like Jethroe or Nephi or Coriantumr.

We had stake conference last Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was the adult session during which I got to say hi and get pictures of the members I had left in Waynesboro in a hurry. It was really cool. President Perry called our fleet coordinator about two Jeeps sent to us and Franklin. We already knew we were getting one but we didn’t know the  Franklin elders were getting one as well, so that was really tight. President Perry answered a question:  “What do you do with a return missionary once he gets home?”  The answer was: "Have them go to the temple frequently and get into an institute class." On Sunday we went to the other session and it was nice. We tried to contact this black guy after the conference, but got totally rejected. Previously, he had told us to come back because we are Christian but this time he said that he was set in his ways with religion. And Elder Moon repeated it to get his statement out there. We went to a kid’s baptism and I was one of the witnesses. We ate really good food with this fun family and that was our week. Not too much rain over here from the tropical storm but it’s still wet.

Love you all and enjoy life and go on missions!

Elder McClure

Confetti, Unity Glasses, Skyline, Grand Caverns, and a Trunky Elder: June 3, 2013

Hi Everyone!

Wel,l this week was one to remember since we did a lot of the things I really wanted to do when I was in Waynesboro. This was Elder Quiambao's last week as a missionary. We did a lot of funny things during it and enjoyed some laziness as well while Elder Quiambao packed his stuff.

But we still worked hard most of the time!  We were able to teach two of our investigators this week.  The two others were playing hard to get. We taught William and he is coming along really good. He is reading and taking notes and coming to church. He is one of the fastest progressing investigators I have had. We taught him the gospel of Jesus Christ and he read through the pamphlet we gave him. He said there were a lot of similarities that he could see in the pamphlet between us and the Baptists. He was a little confused at first about the 3 degrees of glory and doesn’t yet know for a surety that the gospel is true, but he said he won't turn back from becoming a member because he knows Joseph Smith was a prophet.

We also taught Matthew and Madison. We had Bro. Liskey come with us to help keep them calm. We taught the gospel but with more of a curve ball by saying, “We really want you to consider baptism because, in case anything were to happen, it won't be on your minds that you should have been baptized, but weren’t.”  Bro. Liskey also gave them the ultimate quest to find a question to stump him with in the gospel. The closest either one of them came was asking, “Is it a sin to eat human flesh?”  Bro. Liskey said, “It is not if you did not kill the man and survival was necessary.” We played golf together afterward.

We went to a party store and I got two confetti cannons (small ones) and nerdy glasses for the three of us to wear – it’s a unity thing I thought of. I wanted to blow one of the confetti cannons off at zone meeting and use the other one as a test to make sure the one for zone meeting would work well. So we got to zone meeting (we wore our glasses) and everyone loved the glasses, but the APs were there and the stake president, so I decided not to blow off the confetti cannon in the meeting.  What I did instead was dump the confetti from the test one into someone’s backpack and then blew off the other in the AP’s truck. It was hilarious.

Because Elder Quiambao was leaving and transfer calls were coming up, Elder Moon wanted to do some fun stuff so after zone meeting we went with some members, the Nichols, and drove on Skyline Drive, which is the road on the mountain ridge that has a beautiful view of another mountain range.  I had a fun time being at high altitude again. The Nichols got us yummy blackberry ice cream and then we went back down into town. The next day we went up to Massanutten Mountain so that Elder Moon could get a sticker that says “NUT.” We had to bypass security by visiting some members who lived nearby, but it was weird feeling not sticking to our area like we’re supposed to. I don't think we'll be doing that again.

On Sunday, we fasted and William came to church, which was great! We had to say goodbye to Elder Tramell from our district – he was going home. He had been a zone leader. Elder Medsker, the mission office elder, came to pick him up and he showed us the transfer board to show what is going to happen to us. Elder Moon and I will stay in Harrisonburg and everyone else in the district will get new companions.

Today, we had breakfast with the Bells and played games with their teenage boys.  Then we were taken to the oldest touring cave in the U.S. by B. Brady. It was really cool. It had been used for Civil War soldiers, weddings, dances, and old style tours and it was really interesting. The area is called the Grand Caverns. The tall rock next to me in the picture is called George Washington’s Ghost.  It is considered a “dead rock” (whatever that means) from all the people running their hands over it over the years. It was really interesting. We got to see a lot of cool rock formations and interesting stories about them. The coolest part was when the tour guide turned out all the lights and lit a candle to show what it would be like without electricity. Then he turned on this switch and showed this giant hallway illuminated by electric lights. It was really cool.

Well, I love all of you!

Elder McClure